I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
