There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize