the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
