Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
