Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize