TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize