I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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