It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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