I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
