Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
