I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
