It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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