remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
