You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
