the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
where are my eyebrows?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
