That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
