There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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