So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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