im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
people are starting to question the shark bite story
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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