glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
