Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
