Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize