i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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