He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
