I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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