just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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