my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
then he tried to convert me to islam
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
