i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
