she was so not down for the gang bang
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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