You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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