NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
