found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm at about main and main street
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
