Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
