You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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