your room smells of hookers.
And success
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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