and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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