He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
