I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize