what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize