Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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