drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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