I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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