Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
