Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
