Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize