I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
