My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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