Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
