ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Four minutes until I can fart!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
