He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
