break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
