atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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