Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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