Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize