Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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