i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize