so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
