We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
