i just google imaged poop.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
