Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
