the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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