you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
