It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
